How Do You Begin? A Gentle Guide to Exploring Your Pleasure

By Elle Reid, for Whispa

For many women, exploring pleasure isn't as simple as buying a product and switching it on.

It’s personal. Emotional. Sometimes complicated.

And for some of us, it’s something we’ve never really done at all — not fully.

So where do you begin?

The answer is: . With curiosity, kindness, and permission to take your time.

You’re Not Alone If This Feels New

So many women — smart, successful, capable women — have shared the same quiet thought:

“I feel like I missed the memo. I don’t know what I like.”

Whether you’ve struggled to orgasm, never quite “got” the fuss, or simply felt disconnected from your body, you’re not broken — and you’re definitely not alone.

Many of us were never that our pleasure mattered. Society has a history of shaping female sexuality around someone else’s experience. Penetration-focused, male-driven, and far too fast.

But the truth? Your body deserves that.

The Science Behind Female Desire (and Why It’s Not Always Spontaneous)

One of the most freeing things I ever learned was this:

Desire doesn’t always come before arousal.

In fact, for many women, desire is — meaning it awakens after a moment of closeness, safety, or gentle stimulation.

So if you’re waiting for a “lightning bolt” of lust before you explore your body, you might be waiting a while.

Instead, you can desire by creating the right conditions: low stress, no pressure, and a genuine sense of safety — both physically and emotionally.

This is why creating a ritual around pleasure can be so powerful. It tells your nervous system: .

>How Do You Begin?

Start small. And start with yourself — no pressure, no expectations.

1. Set the Scene

Your brain is your largest sex organ. Light a candle. Play music that makes you feel like the main character. Wear something soft. Do it for .

(We’ll be sharing more soon on how to create this relaxing space — stay tuned for El’s sensual setup guide.)

2. Breathe and Be Present

Let go of the goal. Just tune in. What does your body enjoy? What feels good on your skin? Try touching your arms, your collarbone, your thighs — not as foreplay, but as .

3. Choose a Product That’s Truly Made for You

Not all pleasure products are created equal. Many are designed with a male gaze — all size and spectacle, little sensitivity. Whispa’s range is curated specifically for women who want more: more gentleness, more subtlety, more .

(Our Beginner's Edit is a great place to start.)

4. Let Curiosity Be Your Guide

You don’t need to have all the answers. This is a journey. If something doesn’t work, that’s information — not failure.

Let your curiosity lead. That’s where the magic lives.

You Deserve to Know What Feels Good

Pleasure is more than just a physical act — it’s self-knowledge. It’s empowerment. It’s a quiet rebellion against shame and silence.

And it brings real, researched health benefits: better sleep, reduced stress, improved mood, and deeper connection to self.

So if you’re wondering how to begin… start with this truth:

Your body is not a problem to fix. It’s a story to read — slowly, gently, and in your own words.

Welcome to Whispa. You’re safe here.

—El x